S h a t t e r e d Upon Impact
by Arigatou Sheitarou
Summary: And it was suddenly soundless.  Not even the whistle of air as she rapidly fell through the sky could be heard.  And the only thing running through her mind right then and there was a barely coherent thought within her tattered mind:  Nanoha. [NanohaFate]
1. Prologue:  Shattered Glass

S h a t t e r e d Upon Impact

_"Windswept rain falling through clouds unbroken…_

_Drops of pain that will never touch the ground…"_

And it was suddenly soundless. Not even the whistle of air as she rapidly fell through the sky could be heard. And the only thing running through her mind right then and there was a barely coherent thought within her tattered mind.

_'…Nanoha…'_

**The Night Before**

The sound of rainfall echoed throughout the room relentlessly. She carefully closed the door shut behind her, making sure not to make any unnecessary noise. She made her way across the room, stepping carefully around tripping hazards. Quietly, she edged up the steps to her room and stepped inside. From her spot at the top of the stairs, she could see the rise and fall of her roommate's chest as she slept. For a moment, she was tempted to retreat back downstairs and simply sleep on the couch as to not wake her and Vivio, but just as she was turning around, a small light flickered on and she caught a glimpse of cascading brown hair.

Wide burgundy eyes met a pair of sleepy looking blue.

"Fate-chan?"

The blonde girl winced slightly.

"Nanoha…Did I wake you?"

The brown haired girl nodded silently, and pointed at the little curled up ball under the covers. Carefully, she slid out of bed and walked downstairs with Fate. Leaning on the kitchen counter, Nanoha sighed.

"Don't tell me…" The blue eyed girl began, "…that you've already been assigned on your next mission?"

Fate nodded.

"It's not dangerous. Just patrol. There has been suspicious activity reported recently, and Hayate-chan asked me to patrol around the area at night."

"When is it?"

Hesitating wasn't something Fate did normally. And yet here she was, doing just that.

"It's…tomorrow."

Nanoha blinked and shook her head.

"Tomorrow?" She repeated, disbelief lining her voice. "But tomorrow's the only free day we both have in common for another month. We were planning on going to the city…"

"I'm sorry…But Hayate sounded desperate. And since Signum and Vita-chan are both away on a mission, there was no one else available. I couldn't just say no. Besides, it's just patrol. It shouldn't be that dangerous, and it's only for a few hours."

With a disappointed sigh, Nanoha nodded and smiled at the other girl.

"But you'll have to make it up to me!" She stated, grinning at Fate.

Fate looked at her, interested.

"How can I make it up to you?" She asked, leaning forward.

"Next time we get a free day together...come with me to an amusement park, and let's ride the 'Drop of Death'!"

With a small and gentle smile, Fate said, "Sure. That sounds fun."

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The air was cold and crisp as it had always been, yet it did nothing to comfort her. Holding Bardiche in her hand as she flew, she scanned the surrounding area for any sign of movement. They had caught _something_ on the scanner. Now it was only a matter of time before she investigated it, interrogated it, and made it back to her room to apologize to Vivio for making her stay alone for a while until Nanoha got back from her training. She wanted to get it over with, and to get past the bad feeling that had been settling in her stomach since earlier that day.

Sad thing was that her bad feelings were hardly ever wrong.

Her blonde hair trailed behind her, her beautiful burgundy eyes set straight ahead, grim with determination. She _would_ finish her task without being injured. She _would_ not fall that night, nor in the many to come.

But she could not help the small icy chill of fear that wrapped itself around her heart with a death grip.

Fear was an emotion she was particularly familiar with, the same as the warmth in her heart every time she thought of Vivio, Nanoha, and all the others. Subaru, Teana, Erio, Caro, Hayate, Yuuno, and Chrono were all important to her. Everyone belonging to the Sixth Division was her family, even if they had been enemies in the past, as was the case with Zafira, Vita, Shamal, and her most trustworthy enemy, Signum. And the one who had introduced her to the warmth that was friendship, true and powerful, had been Nanoha.

She could not help but feel a great amount of affection for the other girl, waves of adoration that shook the very foundations of her heart. Nanoha…her dearest and most trusted friend… the girl that she could find in a dark and soundless world by her very presence alone, because that type of warmth and kindness was something exceedingly precious to her…_Nanoha_, had saved her from the clutches of her most dangerous enemy. Herself. She had saved her from her own denial, from her ignorance, and had granted her a second chance at living.

Yes…Nanoha was the most precious person in the world to her. A fact that sometimes scared her deeply. Because deep down, in the most isolated place in her heart, she knew it was not normal for her heart to jump to her throat every time she saw her friend smile at her like only she could, as if she were a person necessary for daily life. As if she wasn't a waste of space and skin.

She dropped down on the roof of a tall skyscraper and looked at the sky with a sudden disdain.

She never even saw them coming. And it felt like a dream. No. More like a nightmare.

The first was a blow to the face that sent her teetering back over the edge of the skyscraper. The second was a blow to the stomach that sent her plummeting down towards the ground. She caught herself in midair, twisting herself around to face the two now visible figures above her. Blood ran down the side of her face, and her jaw felt immediately swollen. Blood hacked itself up her throat and she coughed into her free hand, her head buzzing from the blows.

Before she knew it, the figures had once again disappeared, only to reappear a second later, one on either side of her.

"Bardiche!" She called out.

"Yes, sir!"

She quickly mounted a barrier on either side of her, holding one up with each hand. She winced as their attacks clashed with her shields, somehow forcing her to face the skyscraper. A small screen appeared in front of her, and Hayate's face was barely visible through the curtain that was her blood.

"Hang on Fate! We're sending reinforcements immediately! They're on their way!"

With slight a chagrin filled smile, Fate managed to say, "I thought I wouldn't need any help…Guess I was wrong. …They caught me by complete surprise. I guess even Captains need help sometimes. W-who would've thought…"

For a moment, Hayate smiled. But then it was gone, replaced by an expression of pure horror.

"Fate!" Her voice seemed to reverberate inside her head. She could barely breathe. "Behind you!"

_What…?_

And as she turned her head to look over her shoulder, the corner of her eye spotted the third member of her attackers group, and quite suddenly, a bright yellow blast smashed her face first through the skyscraper's glass window from behind, spinning her body around so that her back would receive the impact of the walls that separated the building into sections, and through the final glass window…only to fall in an almost trance-like state.

The fall felt like slow motion. And it was suddenly soundless. Not even the whistle of air as she rapidly fell through the sky could be heard. And the only thing running through her mind right then and there was a barely coherent thought within her tattered mind.

_Nanoha…_

And everything faded to darkness.

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It could not be helped. Her frantic state could not be helped. Her erratic heartbeat would not be slowed. Because right then, her most precious friend's life was in danger. And even when the doctor's said that she probably wouldn't make it through the night, she refused to give up hope. Because the Fate she knew would not give up without a struggle. And if Fate had not given up on her while she had been injured, she would definitely not give up on her.

The days passed without any change in Fate's condition. Nanoha's days, as always, were full of training, and her nights were full of night long hospital visits. This continued to the point where Nanoha was about to give up hope. Until one day during the evening, Fate T. Harlaown woke up, exactly a week after her accident.

She ran through the halls, making her way towards the room where she knew Shamal would be waiting for her with Fate. But she stopped short when she saw Shamal standing at the doorway, a grim expression plastered on her face. When said blonde saw her, she smiled grimly and stepped aside to let her enter.

"I think it best that you see for yourself."

It was more than enough to make Nanoha apprehensive.

Stepping through the door, she had to retrain herself from glomping the girl with such beautiful eyes and silky hair. Said burgundy eyed girl stared blankly at the wall, cuts and bruises visible under the bandages and on her face. There would be no scars, Shamal had assured, and everything would heal perfectly.

As she stood beside the bed, Fate's eyes turned to her, and what she saw within them made her heart stop cold. Those eyes that normally radiated warmth and kindness showed nothing except a frozen sort of detachment.

"Who are you?"

And suddenly, the ground beneath her feet didn't seem so stable after all.


	2. Ch 1:  Shattered Memories

S h a t t e r e d Upon Impact

**_A/N: Well, I updated! It wasn't quite as long as what I had in mind at first, bu then I realized that it would be too long if I continued. So, this is what happens next. This chapter is pretty much plotless...or at least, it feels plotless, as this is the first chapter I've ever written without any sort of conflict...Unless you count...I'll just let you read it. I hope you like it!_**

**_Btw, a special thanks to BPHaru and Eagle8819, and throwing-dynamite (who cheered me up a lot with that review!). Thanks a bunch to all of those who reviewed. You pulled me out of a huge slump. I really appreciate it._**

_"Swimming in front of you...dangling...teasing...undeniably close..._

_...But never close enough to reach it."_

**Chapter 1: ****Shattered Memories**

Her whole world seemed to spin around her as she stared at the cold, burgundy eyes of the person she had come to cherish more than anyone else. Within those eyes, there was no longer any recognition. Now, there was only curiosity, and those eyes were the eyes of a person she had known long ago. The eyes of the person who had been searching for the Lost Logia for her most precious person, desperately trying to please the mother who would never come to accept her. The mother she had loved unconditionally, whom she had obeyed without question.

There was no warmth in those eyes. They were once again those beautiful, deep, lonely eyes she had first seen ten years ago. And this was not some cruel joke Fate and Shamal had for some reason wanted to come up with. But it just couldn't be real…

"Fate…"

Her vision was blurry. She could barely make out the bandages that covered Fate's forehead and arms. Still she walked forward toward the girl on the bed, reaching out for the girl's hands. The nineteen year old Enforcer watched her with caution mixed with curiosity. She let Nanoha take her hand in hers and watched her burst into silent tears.

"You're okay…" She said, with a watery laugh, "You're okay…"

"I'm sorry…But I…" Fate began, a pained regret and confusion lining the edge of her voice, "…Who are you?"

And hearing it hurt. So much more than she could have ever imagined. And it wasn't a joke. Not this time. This…was reality.

"…My name is…Takamachi…Nanoha." Her voice shook. "I…am…We've…we've been…best friends…since…"

She had to remind herself to breathe. The stabbing pain in her heart at the realization that Fate had forgotten those ten whole years of friendship, so easily…it hurt her more than any enemy attack ever could. It felt as though something had stolen its way within her heart. Making her grow cold. Something bile rose up in her throat. But that was all beaten down by the swarm of tears that enveloped her, and she could not stop.

She felt tentative hands draw her in, and soft, beaten down arms filled with small bruises, scrapes, and a few bandaged cuts encircle her waist. Nanoha broke down on Fate's shoulder, the blonde girl passing a soothing hand through her hair.

"Please don't cry…" Fate's voice had changed over the years, but its quiet and comfortingly gentle nature had not. "Don't cry…I hate it when you cry…"

With a small hiccupping laugh, Nanoha looked at Fate in the eyes.

"You don't know me anymore…How could you hate it when I cry?" Her voice was mixed with irony and a bit of poorly masked bitterness. "It makes no sense…"

But with a serious face, Fate cupped Nanoha's cheek with her right hand, her thumb caressing her face softly.

"I don't know why…But I felt so sad when you started to cry. I felt it…right here…" She said, pointing at her chest where she supposed her heart was, "…and I instantly loathed it. Takamachi-san, I don't want to hurt you…It…"

Fate paused for a second, as if embarrassed. She fidgeted with the bandage on her left wrist before continuing.

"…It hurts me to hurt you." She admitted quietly.

And that was when Nanoha realized it. Whether or not Fate remembered her, Fate…was still Fate. The same kind, warm, gentle, _sweet_ individual she had known forever. And for the first time since she had learned in the dead of night that Fate had very nearly died while on patrol because she was blasted clean through the 26th floor of a skyscraper, taking walls and glass windows down with her as she fell, she felt at ease. And she somehow knew Fate would be okay.

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"What are the chances of her regaining her memories?"

Shamal stared at her with a look that resembled a mix between certainty and doubt.

"There is a chance, although very low, that she won't regain her memories, but for the time being, I say her memory loss should not be permanent." She reassured, as thought also trying to convince herself, "Now, what I really don't have the slightest idea about is _when_ she'll recover them. It could be days, it could be weeks, maybe even a month. The longer it takes, though, the less chance there will be that she'll remember."

This did nothing to calm her nerves. Shamal must have seen it reflected on her face because she said, "I wouldn't worry all that much about it, Nanoha-chan. She'll probably remember if she's around her old environment."

Nanoha sighed, and smiled at Shamal briefly before her mind assaulted her with another question.

"When is she scheduled for release?" She asked.

"She should be able to leave tomorrow, but someone would have to come down here and help her to your room. Plus there are the painkillers and other medications to consider… She can barely walk…and when she does she usually gets dizzy…"

"I'll take care of her." Nanoha stated, looking calmly over Shamal's shoulder through the window at Fate.

The girl was taking a few tests to ensure that her eyesight and hearing were all right. Nanoha knew that these tests had always made Fate uncomfortable for some reason, and so she gave a knowing giggle when the girl kept switching her weight from foot to foot, trying her best not to look impatient.

"Alright." Shamal said, and Nanoha turned her attention back to her, "Come by tomorrow and she should be ready to leave."

Nanoha nodded, and as she turned to leave, she took a deep breath and tried to prepare herself for the emotional rollercoaster she knew was to come.

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Fate was dreaming.

She dreamt of a little girl with a ferret perched upon her shoulder, her eyes bright and beautiful. She dreamt of a large red dog as it howled in the moonlight. She dreamt of a little girl being whipped by an older woman, her shouts of pain resounding across the cavernous room. She dreamt of agony mixed with longing. Of hatred mixed with hope and despair. Of an ignorant little girl lost within her own dreams, unaware of the painful scent of reality.

_"…__chan.__"_

She dreamt of fear and uncertainty. Of staggering isolation and loneliness.

_"Fate-chan__."_

But most of all, she dreamt of a warmth that shattered all her defenses. That broke down the walls that firmly guarded her heart. She almost had it…she could feel the answer in front of her…teasing her…just beyond her reach…

"Fate-chan!"

Fate awoke with a start. The warmth faded, the walls of her mind being replaced by the walls of Shamal's domain: the hospital.

"Get up, Fate-chan. Today's the day you go back home."

She sat up groggily and covered her eyes with the palm of her hand, trying her hardest to recall the dream. But it dissolved, once again far beyond her reach. She could feel the frustration welling up in her chest. Her throat tightened, and it was hard to swallow. She felt her eyes moisten and she shook her head roughly.

She could not remember anything. She was confused and disoriented. It felt as though there was an abysmal blank space in her mind, as if there was something missing. And something _was_. A thick, dark mist covered her memories, and no matter how hard she swam, the memories had not been uncovered. They seemed to taunt her, and at times she felt as though she could remember, but then suddenly the feeling was gone, and it was replaced by a sensation of loss so strong she felt as though she had a large, gaping hole in her chest.

And she felt _frustration_. It wasn't the sort of small frustration that brought a tiny string of colorful curses; it was the type of intense frustration that brought tears to her eyes and a sense of desperation that shook her to the core. Making her feel misbalanced and useless. And if there was one thing she had discovered in the past day since she had woken up, it was that she absolutely loathed feeling useless.

"Shamal-san…" She asked quietly, "…if I don't know where I live, how am I supposed to get there?"

The blonde in question grinned at her softly.

"You live with Nanoha-chan."

Fate blinked.

"Takamachi-san? Why?"

Her stomach twisted in an unpleasantly pleasant way. She grimaced. What in the world was wrong with her? Other than the fact that she had apparently been blasted though the 26th floor of an office building…

"Because you two are partners, and Hayate-chan thought it would be appropriate for you to live together." With a raised eyebrow and a teasing sort of grin, Shamal added, "Last time I checked, you weren't complaining."

Fate had a feeling Shamal was implying something there, but she let it slip, chalking it up to her overactive imagination.

"Alright…" She murmured, "Is there anything else I need to know before I get there?"

For a second, Shamal looked a bit worried.

"There's no need for me to tell you right now." She said, "I'll let Nanoha-chan handle this one…Either way, you should get dressed. Your clothes are right here." She held them up. "If you need any help changing, just ask, alright?"

Fate simply nodded, and sliding carefully out of the hospital bed, she took the clothes from Shamal's hands. She retreated behind a curtain, determined to get dressed without help. Unfortunately, it wasn't long before she hit her first barrier. The evil device responsible for global warming and all of its effects: The bra.

She growled in frustration as she unsuccessfully tried for the umpteenth time to secure the evil object, which responded by snapping against her back. She winced and took a calming breath before rationally attempting to strangle the thing. But of course, since it was never alive in the first place, it wasn't very effective. But still, she was frustrated for various reasons and deserved a momentary lapse of sanity every once in a while. She sighed, and covering herself, she called out to Shamal.

"Shamal-san…I need help…with…something…" She said reluctantly, flushing from embarrassment.

Of all the things she had to need help with…She was about to begin uncharacteristically wallowing in self pity when the curtain suddenly rustled.

"Fate-chan?"

And there was no mistaking that voice. Takamachi Nanoha stepped through the curtain and Fate would've jumped fifteen feet away if it weren't for the wall. And her very sore injuries.

"Did you need something, Fate-chan?" Nanoha asked, and her eyes suddenly landed on Fate.

She blinked once, blinked twice, blinked thrice, and it finally sunk in. She blushed and averted her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry." She stammered, "Shamal-san is a bit busy right now and she asked me to go check on you for her."

Fate nodded and swallowed. Her mouth was suddenly and inexplicably dry.

"I just need help with this..." She motioned to the infernal device, "I can't reach it properly without hurting myself."

Nanoha giggled quietly and Fate flushed in further embarrassment.

"You've always been shy." She said while aiding the blonde, "I never knew why, though, since we'd known each other for ten years."

Fate blinked in surprise as Nanoha stepped back and smiled at her.

"Ten years?" She asked, earnestly wishing she could remember such a big part of her life.

Nanoha nodded brightly and held up Fate's shirt.

"Need help with this too?" She teased.

Fate's lips twitched in the beginning of a smile and she took the shirt from Nanoha before the girl could say anything else.

Her wrist throbbed as she put on the shirt. She flinched as one of the bandages pulled and sent waves of pain through her right shoulder. Suddenly, she felt weak and lightheaded. Her legs gave out from under her. Nanoha cried out and caught her before she hit the floor. The room seemed to spin around her, and she clung to the only thing that seemed stable. Her heart pounded in her chest.

"Fate-chan…!" Desperate. Pleading… _Panicked._ "Shamal-san, help! Shamal!"

Cool hands felt her forehead. Everything was blurry and out of shape. Movement.

"…spells becoming frequent..." Distorted voices. "…legs can't…weight…exhaustion…suffering from insomnia…the possibility… recover…"

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Fate jerked awake on the bed, breathing harshly.

"Takamachi-san!" She cried out, snapping up to a sitting position.

She frantically slid out of the hospital bed and the second step she took, her legs trembled and she fell on her knees.

"You shouldn't force yourself to walk yet, Testarossa."

Fate, dizzy and feeling as though her head were a balloon, looked up towards the voice. A young woman with pink hair and blue eyes stood in the doorway to the room. Rushing footsteps echoed throughout the hall and the woman looked over her shoulder.

"She's fine, Shamal, Nanoha-chan. She's just forcing herself as usual."

Nanoha burst into the room and made her way towards her, her blue eyes peering at her with concern.

"Fate-chan, what is it? Are you okay? Why did you call me?"

"Which one do you want her to answer first?" Shamal said, walking into the room with an amused chuckle. "And please, refrain from asphyxiating my patient while in a hundred foot radius from me. It's not healthy, and I'll catch you."

Nanoha moved away from Fate, giving her some room to breathe. She remained quiet towards Shamal's harmless teases and taunts. Sensing some sort of odd tension in the air, the pink haired girl moved forward and helped Fate up to a safe seat on the bed.

"Testarossa, how are you feeling?"

Her voice tinged with irony, Fate answered, "I'm fine."

Shamal raised an eyebrow.

"And I suppose this is why you almost fainted. Again."

Fate clenched her hands into fists and sighed. Her nails dug into the palm of her hands.

"I felt a little dizzy, but it wasn't anything bad. Earlier, though…I had no idea what was going on around me."

Shamal looked concerned.

"Is there anything worrying you?" She asked.

"You mean besides the fact that she can't remember anyone?" The pink haired girl asked, looking at Shamal oddly.

Shamal sighed and rolled her eyes. Fate shook her head.

"There's nothing bothering…" A_ little girl being whipped by an older woman, her shouts of pain resounding across the cavernous roo__m._ "…me."

"Fate-chan…"

She turned to Nanoha. The blue eyed girl looked like she wanted to say something, but instead, she fell quiet, and looked away. Fate looked at Nanoha and felt the strangest urge to know what she was thinking. Instead, she turned back to Shamal.

"When can I leave?" She asked her.

The blonde blinked and exchanged knowing smiles with the pink haired woman.

"Today. I've already given you a full bill of health. You should just be careful not to over-exert yourself." She answered cheerfully, "Signum and Nanoha will escort you back to your apartment. Vita-chan will probably have left with Vivio already, so you'll have a full week to try and regain your memories. You have been excused of your duties, as have you Nanoha."

While Fate pondered on whom Vita and Vivio could possibly be, Nanoha tilted her head to the side in a questioning glance.

"What do you mean I've been excused as well?" She asked, surprised.

Shamal nodded her head.

"Hayate-chan decided that since Fate-chan doesn't remember anything or anyone, you would be the best person to begin to fill her in until her memories return."

"You mean _if_ they return." Signum said bitterly.

Shamal's smile never faltered.

"They will."

But Fate could tell that was only for her sake. And with a look in Nanoha's direction, she knew it was also for hers.

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She felt alone as she followed Signum and Nanoha inside the apartment. A gut wrenching fear had begun taking refuge within her heart the moment she had woken up. There had been a chasm between herself and the people who knew her, but she did not recognize. It was as though she had been asleep for centuries. She was terribly confused. Out of place. Disoriented. And the pains from her wounds did nothing to ease her state of mind.

She was alone. No one understood. No one _could_ understand. And she could trust no one.

"Testarossa?"

Fate snapped out of her reverie and looked wearily towards Signum.

"Are you going to stand in the middle of the doorway all day?"

Fate flushed in embarrassment and walked forward towards Nanoha. Signum stayed back.

"You're not coming?" She asked her.

"It's not me you share this thing with." Signum said with a wry smile, "Besides, I think you two have to talk some things out."

Before Signum could close the door behind her, Fate called out to her.

"What is it?"

"…Thank you." Fate whispered; her voice was softer than usual.

Signum shook her head with a pained look. Her eyes shone fiercely.

"It was my fault you got hurt in the first place."

"What? Wait, Signum-san!" She cried.

But the older woman had already closed the door. Fate sighed and turned to Nanoha.

"She was already on a mission." The other girl said, looking her straight in the eyes. "You got called in instead and got caught by surprise. It's not her fault. And it wasn't your lack of competence that nearly got you killed. You were amazing, and your strength can only be proven by how you survived that attack."

It was funny how this girl seemed to know what she was thinking. And how she was feeling.

"…I can't help but feel that things would have been better if I hadn't." She admitted, refusing to meet the other's eyes.

The slap resounded and seemed to reverberate across the room. Her hand rose slowly to her cheek as her breath caught in surprise. She turned towards Nanoha, cautious of what her next movements would be, but what she saw was the complete opposite of what she was expecting. Nanoha shuddered and her eyes were watery.

"How can you say that?" Her voice shook. "Do you know h-how horribly I would've felt if y-you had just g-gone and died?" She took a step back and shook her head, her tears beginning to fall. "You can't possibly…you can't honestly…you can't wish that, Fate!"

Nanoha shivered for a second, and looked at her straight in the eyes. She stifled a sob and threw her arms around her. Fate went rigid, her neck and back screaming in protest.

"I don't know what I'd do without you…you're my best friend…"

The whisper was so quiet, and so soft, that for all her good hearing, she barely heard it. Fate stood quietly, unmoving…tense. Her arms rose slowly without her consent. They wrapped themselves around Nanoha, as if they'd done it a thousand times before. She felt oddly nostalgic for some reason, and she instinctively nuzzled her nose against Nanoha's hair, sighing in something that slightly resembled contentedness, yet she was much too scared to label it.

And there was warmth.

Her previous loneliness and sorrow seemed to evaporate completely. It simply vanished into thin air. The warmth was intoxicating. Mesmerizing with its sheer force. It seemed to seep into her heart, across her entire being, filling her with a comfort she had not known existed. When she had begun to smile softly, she did not know.

What she knew was that this girl comforted her without words. With her very presence alone.

And that was enough for Fate to trust her completely.

**_A/N: How was it...? Dissapointing...? Hmm...I certainly hope it wasn't...I don't like to dissapoint...But if it was, the next chapter is much better. It's already written half way so...Yeah. Thanks a million for reviewing! Remember what I said in the first chapter..._**

**_:nudges reader towards review button:_**

**_Cheers!_**


	3. Ch 2:  Shattered Dreams

S h a t t e r e d Upon Impact

**Chapter 2: ****Shattered Dreams**

_"…__Crying__ within a maze of__ dreams forever__ lost…_

_…The dreams which speak of pain and__ purest loss__…"_

It was as though she had been speaking to a completely different person. A person who had no idea how much she meant to her, and to her friends. A person who had forgotten exactly how much they had been through together. She had been forgotten. The realization had hit her with an intensity she had not expected.

Maybe this was the reason why she had snapped.

Nanoha watched as the taller girl drifted within their quarters. A look of wonder had overridden her features as she looked over the rooms with curiosity. The look of purest sorrow had left her face, and Nanoha could only be relieved.

That expression…had been _her_ expression.

The expression that had belonged to the little girl with the lonely eyes, and the broken smile.

"Takamachi-san?"

Nanoha snapped out of her daze, looking in Fate's direction.

"Yes, Fate-chan?"

The girl seemed to hesitate, and fidget nervously, before covering her eyes with the palm of her hand, a gesture Nanoha had come to realize she did when she was embarrassed. She stood at the top of the stairs, at the entrance to their room.

"…What kind of relationship did we have…?" She murmured, looking down at the floor.

The flush on her face was contagious, and Nanoha stuttered out, "W-we're j-just friends!"

Fate looked up with an odd blush on her face, and Nanoha recalled the last time, first time really, she had seen her like that. She herself had caused it, by teasing her about her stubbornness during their flight to battle. This brought a little grin to her face and she shook her head, ignoring the light little flip her stomach made as she recalled Fate's image: a light blush on her face, burgundy eyes radiant, with a smile that was etched into her memory to last eternity.

"Then why do we sleep in the same bed…?"

Nanoha laughed nervously. Truthfully, she did not know. There really was no reason for their staying together, although she had an inkling in the pit of her stomach that Hayate and Shamal had _something_ to do with it…The thing she did know, however, was that she hadn't had any complains whatsoever when they had been assigned. Maybe it was because she had known Fate all those years.

Maybe it was because she always felt at ease whenever she was around her.

"Hayate-chan assigned us." She replied easily, as she slid into a seat at the kitchen table.

With a pang, she realized this had been where she had last seen Fate before the accident.

"Hayate-san?" Fate inquired, sitting across from her, meeting her eyes.

Nanoha looked away, gripping the edge of the table. She felt as though she were speaking with a stranger.

"Hayate-chan is a childhood friend of ours." She answered, looking back at Fate. "We met her a few months after we became friends. She is also our superior, the commander of the Sixth Division."

Fate tilted her head to the side. Nanoha peered at her questioningly.

"You said, 'after we became friends'. We were once enemies?"

And Nanoha was suddenly struck with the force of such an innocent question.

"Of course not." She said; her voice was unusually quiet. "We just hadn't taken the time to know each other."

"Oh, okay."

Some things were better left unsaid. For Fate's sake. And for her own.

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Fate leaned on the table, quiet, eyes closed. It all felt somehow familiar, to the extent of it almost being déjà vu. She felt awkward and terribly shy.

She opened her eyes, and they almost instantly trailed over to the girl whom had been her friend for ten years. And even now, when Fate was certain she was suffering over her case of amnesia, she stood by her. It was enough to make Fate strangely emotional. As though somewhere, deep down, she _knew_.

But she didn't. And it killed her to feel so pathetic.

The brown haired girl had settled on staring at the floor, finding the space beside her shoes oddly fascinating. She fidgeted in her seat, as if she sensed that Fate was watching her. Taping her fingers on the table, she bit her lower lip and looked up towards the blonde.

And Fate was rather taken aback by the force of those intense blue eyes.

And she was pulled. She was forcibly_, inexplicably_ yanked out of her seat and onto _somewhere_…A seemingly endless ocean of blue. A subdued, calm, yet somehow _passionate_ ocean of slate blue that swept her away with the variety of thoughts and emotions that swirled within.

And it felt like a spell.

A vast, timeless spell…

And then it was broken. Shattered before she could even find a cause.

"Fate-chan…it's getting late. You…we should get some sleep."

Fate nodded numbly, slowly rising to follow the brown haired girl up the stairs to their room. Nanoha pointed at a dresser, and she walked towards it, taking out sleep wear that she assumed was hers. And what she found was not what she had expected. A nice little nightgown, which would barely reach her knees.

And she found herself cursing at herself for ever buying it, even if she had no recollections whatsoever of doing so.

"Need help taking that off?" And this time, her voice was actually serious.

And Fate nodded, swallowing, wondering why on earth the girl made her act the way she did.

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Fate shifted in the bed, unable to sleep. It was late in the night, and she found herself staring at the roof, acutely aware of the throbbing pain throughout her whole body. She was tense, and felt awkward and uncomfortable. She looked to the side at Nanoha, watching the rise and fall of her friend's steady breathing.

She felt the strangest impulse to move closer, and she shook her head to rid herself of such odd urges.

"You can't sleep, Fate-chan…?"

Her voice was quiet, but oddly enough, Fate wasn't surprised to hear it. She turned back to Nanoha.

"…Not really…"

Nanoha seemed to shift, and Fate stared at her curiously. Suddenly, she felt something poke and prod at her under the covers, until something soft and warm grabbed her hand and pulled her closer. Nanoha's hand was smaller than her own, though not by much. She found it curious how she naturally seemed to notice everything about the brown haired girl, from the way the corner of her mouth turned upwards when she tried hard not to smile, or how she stared at the ground when she was feeling awkward and uncomfortable.

Her hand seemed to rise of its own accord, and she studied the other girl's hand with an odd fascination.

Small, soft, smooth, delicate…_pretty_ even.

"Fate-chan?"

She looked at Nanoha, whose cheeks were tinted pink in what she thought was embarrassment, and she realized she must have looked stupid, staring at her hand like that. She immediately dropped it and edged back shyly, not wanting to seem somehow weird.

But she was surprised when Nanoha gently grasped her hand again and pulled her even closer than before. They were inches apart, and Fate's heart couldn't help but pound in her chest, although she herself knew not why it did.

"It's comforting for me…" Nanoha whispered, looking at their entwined hands. "…I need a reminder that you're still here…That you haven't gone to a place where I can't follow…" She let out a low, humorless chuckle. "I bet you're thinking how pathetic and needy I am…"

"I'm not." The words were out of her mouth before she could even speak. "I'm glad I was this important to you…I'm glad I was needed…"

"You aren't listening to me, are you, Fate-chan…?"

"What?" Her eyes were wide. "Of course I am."

"I _need_ you, Fate…We've been together for so long you've become…such an important part of my life that I can't even…I can't bear the thought of ever…of ever being separated…I…It's not that I can't live without you…No, it's nothing like that, because I know I can. But you have to understand, Fate-chan…I don't _want_ to live without you, whether you remember me or not…

"I _want_ you here, Fate. So you have to stay here…and not beat yourself up because you can't really remember…Because as long as you're still alive, Fate-chan…as long as you're still _here_, I'll be happy…"

"Takamachi-san…" She was at a loss for words.

Nanoha shot up and hovered over her, and Fate sunk back into the bed, surprised by the huff directed at her. The brown haired girl poked the other girl's cheek, eyes narrowing.

"Nanoha."

Fate blinked.

"What?"

Poke.

"Na-no-ha. Say it. Nanoha."

Another perplexed blink. Another poke.

"Na…no…ha…?"

This time there was a heartfelt smile. And she shook her head sleepily.

Nanoha slid back down into bed, blinking sleepily, while saying, "Good. You were beginning to annoy me with all that Takamachi-san stuff…I'm glad you…said…my name…"

With her their fingers entwined, Fate watched as she fell asleep, her mind reveling in wonder. A sudden heart wrenching pang of anxiety hit her and she suddenly couldn't breathe. But she was worrying over nothing…because Nanoha would still be there for her when she woke up the next morning. Nanoha wasn't a figment of her imagination that her fevered mind had conjured to comfort her.

She would still be there when she woke up. She would still be by her side, helping her regain her lost memories…

A sudden shift in the bed drew her attention. Nanoha moved closer to her, her free hand stretching out, as if seeking something. Her brows were furrowed and she whimpered as she could not find what she was looking for. Fate lay rigid as the brown haired girl clutched her nightgown and pulled herself closer, accidentally brushing against one of her bandages.

But it was in that position of discomfort and pain that Fate finally fell asleep, all of her morbid thoughts having disappeared as soon as the other girl had touched her.

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The next morning found the both of them in an awkward position, tangled limbs, and in Fate's case, a red face. After much embarrassment on her part, and Nanoha smiling cheerfully the whole time as if it had been the best sleep she'd had in days, they set off to meet a person named Hayate and the rest of their little group of friends.

Fate walked into the dining area after Nanoha, flexing her hand. A group of people stood surrounding one table, and Nanoha led her towards them with an eager, albeit nervous, smile on her face.

She stopped directly in front of a young woman with short brown hair and motioned to Fate.

"Hayate-chan…" Nanoha said, drawing the other girl's attention.

Hayate turned around to meet Fate's apprehensive eyes and smiled, though a tinge of sorrow lined her features.

"Fate-chan…I suppose you don't remember me at all?"

Fate felt the jolt of sadness that was beginning to become familiar. She smiled bitterly, and shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She said softly.

"Come on, Subaru! We're late!" A voice interrupted, and Fate turned around, blinking in surprise.

A young girl with long hair burst inside followed by another girl with short hair. Two children hurried after them, a little girl with short, pink hair, and a boy around the same age as her. They all stopped short once they saw the others. Specifically Fate.

"Fate…" The smallest girl whispered.

A sudden flash of agony slashed through her. The image of a dragon. A cry of commands in a training ground. A sense of pride.

"Fate-chan?"

She turned back to Nanoha, suddenly feeling weak and cowardly. But she smiled, and it did not reach her eyes, and Nanoha could see it. Because somehow, that girl always knew what she meant and what she didn't.

"…I'm sorry for all the trouble and worry I've caused you." She murmured, looking at the group of children in front of her. "…I cannot remember who you are…"

The boy and girl looked stricken, while the two eldest simply closed their eyes. They had already been informed of it. They all had. But they had all still maintained some hope that Fate would somehow remember them.

"I'm Teana…and these are…Subaru, Erio, and Caro…" The girl with the long hair introduced, pointing at each of them respectively.

The boy blinked, clenched his hands into fists, and marched out, without looking back. Fate felt herself begin to run after him on instinct, but then she faltered after a few steps, and she stared at the spot where he had run out, oddly feeling as though her heart were being ripped to tiny little pieces. Her throat tightened and her chest constricted. And she was dizzy. So very dizzy.

"…I'm sorry…" She whispered, her voice breaking slightly, "…I can't…"

She walked past Teana, Caro, and Subaru, heading towards the door. Trying to get out. Trying to escape.

"Fate-chan…"

A warm hand grasped hers and she was involuntarily reminded of the previous night. Another flash of white hot pain made her flinch away from Nanoha's touch. Everything was spinning.

_A woman jumped to her death.__A little girl within a tank.__ The walls were breaking._

_Everything was _**falling**

"Fate-chan!"

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All attempts at concentration, feeble as they were, were quick to be abandoned. Nanoha marched up the stairs to their room, and knocked roughly on the door, pleading at Shamal.

"Let me inside, Shamal!"

So she was past the point of pleading. Sue her.

"Will you be quiet, Nanoha-chan?!" The blonde hissed from the other side of the door, "She's still asleep, and she needs to rest!"

"You won't even tell me what caused the fainting spell!" She accused, jabbing her finger against the door, glaring at Shamal's invisible face. "What kind of doctor are you?!"

Shamal opened the door a crack and stared at Nanoha with unfathomable eyes.

"What?" She asked, nervously. Her bravado had begun to fade.

"Nothing…Go ahead…" She answered quietly, stepping aside. "The spell probably occurred because of too much stress. It's best not to force her to remember anything…Or cause her too much emotional pain. Just be quiet and let her rest."

She watched as Nanoha's face brightened, suddenly inexplicably radiant, and the girl went inside, shutting the door behind her.

Shamal sighed, and said, "I wish you could see how you move around her…How you move around each other...When she moves, you immediately adjust yourself to her…It's as if you're satellites in your own orbit, and your suns are each other…"

"That was very nearly poetic, Shamal-san…"

The blonde turned to the familiar figure standing in the doorway.

"Yuuno…"

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She approached the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping blonde. Her hair was splayed all around her, and she unconsciously clenched the sheets of the bed.

And Nanoha smiled.

She sat down at the edge of the bed, watching the blonde's face, tracing her features with her eyes. It hadn't been the first time she had realized that her burgundy eyed friend was beautiful, but it never failed to hit her exactly how breathtaking Fate was, even more so when she smiled. But right now, the girl seemed frightened, her knuckles white with the force with which she clutched the sheets.

Nanoha, concerned, traced her hand lightly over the softness of her face, until the girl stopped her whimpering, and unconsciously leaned towards the hand. Nanoha froze, her throat suddenly tightening. Her mouth was dry and her head was spinning. A small noise had escaped the girl's lips, and Nanoha suddenly burned, her breathing hitched, and she removed her hand.

Fate pressed herself to the pillow, seeking the hand that had caressed her face moments before. And Nanoha leaned forward, eyes half lidded; somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered what she was doing, and why she was doing it. She watched the girl, smothering her strange impulses.

"Nanoha-san…"

She snapped up straight, wrenching her eyes from Fate's sleeping figure, and placing them upon the man whom she had not seen in ages.

"Yuuno-kun!" She greeted, happily, and she walked towards him, flinging her arms around his neck.

Taken aback as he usually was when Nanoha demonstrated any form of affection towards him, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist, smiling into her hair.

"It's good to see you too." He said.

_…it really is…_

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_Everything was falling._

Shattered.

_There was a web of tangled lies. The woman laughed and turned to the little girl, cruelly saying those words that reverberated through her consciousness._

_"…from the moment I created you, I had always hated you…"_

_Loneliness. __Overwhelming sorrow._

**Agony.**

_The little girl stood before another. __The girl with the ferret on her shoulder.__The girl with the bright smile._

_"…Why are you doing this?__"_

_"…Even if I told you, you wouldn't understand…"_

_Determination. _**Solitude.**

_They clashed, and the girl held the other off at bay._

_"Allies?!"_

_"…I'm her friend."_

_The first sign of _**happiness**. _Pride._

_Another girl, strikingly similar to the other, except in height.__ The burgundy eyed girl backed away from the other one under the cover of a tree._

_"…Can't you just stay here with me, Fate-chan…? Isn't this what you've always wanted…?"_

_"…I can't, Alicia…This isn't real…"_

_Pain. __Realization._

**Loss.**

_"…I had always hated you…"_

_"Stop it!"_

_An honest shriek.__Pained.__ Warm…her face felt warm. _

**Longing**.

_She leaned towards the warmth, relishing in its comfort. The answer was close…So close…She moaned softly, wanting to scream out, to lash out in frustration._

_And then it was gone. The warmth that had caressed her face was gone. But the presence was still there. She sought it out, searching, within her mind screaming in the darkness, the nothingness that surrounded her. She swam within black, desperation surging through her, rising up her throat like bile. _

_The girl with the bright smile, now grown, hand in hand with a boy, who smiled at her as though she were the only girl in the universe._

_A reflection painted in a mirror. __A monster.__ And looking into the eyes of the monster, her breath caught. She nearly screamed._

_Those were eyes of…_

"Fate-chan!"

She snapped up straight, gasping for air, conking her head against something hard. She heaved, a bandaged hand clutching her chest. As her heartbeat slowed, she could discern Nanoha rubbing her forehead, a young man standing next to her, looking concerned.

The young man with green eyes and long blonde hair.

"You…" She murmured, unable to keep the hostility from her voice.

Both he and Nanoha appeared taken aback at the sudden venom in her voice, and her slight remembrance of him.

"Fate-chan…?" Nanoha asked, frowning in concern.

"You remember me?" The young man asked, sounded hopeful.

"Not at all." And for the first time, she was not at all sorry.

"Oh…" He sounded honestly disappointed. "I'm Yuuno Scrya…I'm a childhood friend of yours."

"I know." She answered, and looked away, frowning at the floor.

"But how?"

"I just do." She snapped.

Again, he appeared taken aback, and he narrowed his eyes slightly, trying to see the problem. Nanoha watched Fate struggle with herself, an odd expression on her face.

"I…" Yuuno began, his words failing.

"I'm sorry…" Fate said suddenly, her voice sounding strangely pained, "I don't know what came over me…I mean, I'm sure I've never met you before in my…" _A boy with green eyes, blushing at the sight of a brown haired__ girl_ "…life."

"Yes, I suppose so." Yuuno smiled.

She wrapped her arms around herself, her nails digging into the soft of her flesh. She was so frustrated. But she smiled in an attempt at friendliness, this time actually meaning it. She could not remember. And the answer continued to dangle in front of her, teasing her, always a little beyond her reach. And deep within her consciousness, something stirred, a pained and sad part of herself she had locked away.

Something had decided to awaken within her. And ultimately, it was **hostile.**

_What's happening to me?_


	4. Ch 3:  Shattered Emotions

S h a t t e r e d Upon Impact

**Chapter 3: Shattered Emotions**

_"Crashing through blood soaked mirrors that cry…_

_Mirrors that speak of truth and of lies…"_

There was a certain feeling in her heart that stole its way around her body, making her feel like ice. Fate's animosity toward Yuuno was something that completely took her by surprise. She was shocked at Fate's behavior, because the girl had never before demonstrated any ill feeling toward anyone that didn't deserve it. And Yuuno had done nothing wrong. Of that she was sure.

Nanoha watched them both, the way they interacted with each other. There was something odd there, but Yuuno seemed more confused than she was. She didn't blame him. After all, he had been the one at the receiving end to such a cold demeanor. And to her knowledge, Fate had never acted that way toward Yuuno before. So why was she exhibiting an emotion like that now? It…made no sense.

"Nanoha-san…Why are you staring at me?"

She twitched to attention, a blush stealing across her face without warning.

"I'm sorry…I was thinking…"

Fate let her eyes rest on Nanoha, not needing to think much to realize what the other girl was thinking about. In fact, it was the same thing that had been on her mind since having seen Yuuno. The boy had left downstairs, to the bathroom, he had said. Fate shifted in the bed, uncomfortably. She was beginning to feel odd under the stare, as if her entire soul was bare under the scrutiny of that glance. And she did not want to have her soul dissected into tiny bits and pieces for the entire world to see.

She slid out of the bed and walked downstairs, coming face to face with Shamal.

"And _what _do you think you're doing out of bed?" Shamal asked, narrowing her eyebrows at her.

"I think I'm walking."

Shamal raised an eyebrow.

"And now I honestly think something's wrong with you. Fate-chan, being healthily sarcastic? Someone please tell me it's not the apocalypse."

Fate felt her lips twitch in the beginnings of a smile.

"You have no right to talk." She teased, "After all, I learned it from you."

Her fellow blonde pretended to be insulted.

"This is the thanks I get for wrapping up your wounds when you're hurt."

Fate laughed softly, for the first time feeling as though she weren't out of place.

"So," Shamal began, shifting back to doctor mode. "How do you feel?"

"Disoriented…a bit confused, and…" She trailed off, unsure of how to describe her emotions.

"And…?"

"…Angry." She said, tentatively. Once the word rolled off her tongue, her caution evaporated. "Angry." She repeated.

"Why?" Shamal's face was impassive.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully. "It just feels that way. And…I've been having dreams…during my…fainting spells." She spoke the last two words reluctantly. "Shamal-san…do you think it's possible I may be seeing fragments of my past?"

For a second, Shamal appeared concerned. But then she nodded, and smiled.

"I believe it is possible, although we can't be too sure. It depends on what you're seeing. Just don't let the line blur, Fate-chan. Don't let it blur." Then she checked her watch and walked towards the door. "I'd better get going. Tell Yuuno-kun and Nanoha-chan I said goodbye. And rest."

Fate took a stumbling step towards her.

"Wait, Shamal-san!"

The blonde stopped, her hand placed on the doorknob.

"Yes?"

"Don't let _which _line blur?"

Shamal smiled crookedly.

"The line between what is a dream…and what is reality."

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Upstairs, Nanoha sighed into her palm. There was honestly no way she could possibly solve the puzzle without asking Fate. And something in her gut told her that Fate had no idea what was going on either. She shook her head roughly from side to side. It was better not to think about it at all if she was going to avoid getting a headache.

"Nanoha-san…" A hesitant voice came.

She couldn't help the involuntary smile that came up to her face when she saw who it was. Nor could she help the small fluttering of her heart, disconcerting as it was.

"What is it, Fate-chan?"

The blonde seemed to falter before walking inside and stopping in front of her. She began to fidget, and Nanoha couldn't help but grin at how adorable she was sometimes.

"Fate-chan…?" She asked curiously.

Burgundy eyes met slate blue.

"What if…" She trailed off. Nanoha sent her an imploring look. "What if…I never remember? And if I do remember…what if I don't remember correctly?"

The brown haired girl bit her lower lip. She had not been expecting that question, even if she had thought about it herself quite a few times since Fate's accident.

"Then…I'll help you remember." She replied, lips twitching in the beginnings of a smile. She took Fate's hand in hers, tracing the skin with her thumb. "Because, you see…" She let herself slip, a pretty smile blossoming on her face. "…As long as you're alive…" She placed the palm of her free hand on the space where she thought Fate's heart would be. And she felt it beat, letting her smile grow even wider. "…I'll be happy."

Fate laughed softly, shaking off the fact that her heart had jumpstarted the moment Nanoha had begun to smile.

"I can't help it. I want to remember."

"We all want you to remember. You just have to let things go as they must, for now." She gave Fate a shaky smile. "It's not easy for me, to see you like this. I'd be even happier if you quit thinking such sad things."

Fate smiled wryly.

"I don't think I would be if it were a choice…" She murmured softly.

And at that moment, when their eyes met, she suddenly wanted to move closer. And she followed her instinct, stepping to where Nanoha was at arms' length. And as if it were some sort of unspoken ritual, Nanoha stepped forward as well, gently wrapping her arms around Fate's waist. She let out a contented sigh as she buried her nose in Fate's hair, a scent of lavender wafting from it in waves.

And it was out of her mouth before she could stop and consider the consequences.

"Fate-chan…"

"Hmm?" The hum sounded happy…gentle. Sweet as it had always been.

"I love you."

The blonde holding her froze, and took a sudden step back pulling Nanoha with her. She tripped on the other girl's foot, and they stumbled back onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.

Fate's silky blonde hair spread out over the bed, Nanoha's hands on either side of her head. Fate's own hands helped support Nanoha up by the stomach, and the brown haired girl's slate blue eyes were bewildered as they watched the girl below her. Her thigh was between Fate's legs, and those burgundy eyes were wide and brimming with an emotion she could not identify.

"Fate?" She asked, breathing deeply.

The other girl struggled to get her words back, but it seemed so much harder to think with Nanoha above her, and so terribly close.

"N-Nanoha…" She stuttered, confused. "I thought you said we weren't…"

And suddenly, Nanoha understood. She blushed slightly, and let out a bout of nervous laughter.

"We're not…We're just really…really good friends."

"_We're_ really good friends, and _we _don't do that." An unexpected voice.

Unexpected, but unmistakable.

They looked towards the door. Yuuno stood there, trying to hide his wide grin from them. He looked terribly amused, almost as if he were about to burst into laughter.

"Don't do what?" Nanoha asked, perplexed. "I hug you all the time."

Fate narrowed her eyes involuntarily, shooting a sharp glance at Yuuno who let out an uncharacteristic snigger.

"Fine, fine. Just get off each other and let's go downstairs, to the lobby. I just received a call, and…Fate-chan has visitors."

One quick look at their positions revealed and enlightened both their minds. And Nanoha slid off the bed, glaring fiercely at Yuuno, even though deep inside her, something stirred.

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"Then, who do you think it is?"

Nanoha shook her head at Fate.

"I don't know. Yuuno-kun?"

Fate looked at Yuuno questioningly, but the boy simply smiled and said, "We'll see if you remember when you see them. But, be gentle if you don't, alright?"

"Of course!" She couldn't help the glare that made its way onto her face.

Yuuno backed a little to the left, looking a little disconcerted.

"Sorry, sorry…I was just advising you. I didn't mean anything by it."

Fate shook her head, blinking rapidly. Nanoha watched curiously as the girl looked to the side with a peculiar expression, as if just coming out of a daze.

"No, I'm sorry…" She apologized, "…I honestly don't know what's going on with me…"

"I suppose it's to be expected. You did bash your head pretty hard during that patrol…"

Nanoha stared at him.

"Nothing's wrong with her head." She snapped, "She'll remember us soon, and everything will go back to normal."

An almost desperate wish. Fate felt her heart sink.

"I didn't say that there was anything wrong. I'm just stating a fact. There's only so much that magic can heal, and she's still pretty banged up. That says something about that attack."

"Yes, but-"

"Please." A tired, pleading voice. "Please. Just…stop."

Nanoha and Yuuno stopped and looked back at Fate. The burgundy eyed girl stood facing the window, watching the newest recruits train in the simulation field. With a tired sigh, she turned back to look at them.

"Where are we supposed to meet them?" She asked, speaking softly. Soft as she had always had.

"One of the lower floor meeting rooms." Yuuno responded, taking the hint. "Come on, we need to take the elevator. We're nearly there, though."

Yuuno tugged Nanoha along, but the blue eyed girl was only aware that Fate was oddly quiet, and trailing a few paces behind them. She slowed down to match her pace, and smiled at her. Fate blushed involuntarily.

"You know everything's going to be fine, right?" Nanoha asked, taking her hand and squeezing it.

Fate smiled at her, and squeezed back.

"Yeah, I know. You're here with me."

Nanoha nodded and interlaced their fingers, stepping closer to her. They walked behind Yuuno, oblivious to the small twitch of his lips as he saw them. Once inside the elevator, he pressed one of the numbers and stepped back, leaning against the wall.

"Well," He began, smiling softly, "I should say that it's really good to see you're okay, Fate-san."

She smiled involuntarily. "Thank you, Scrya-kun. Believe it or not…I _am_ glad you came…"

Yuuno shook his head.

"I knew that from the first time I saw your eyes. I think…that on some level of your consciousness…you recognize us. So really…there's no need for you to apologize. I understand that it's very hard for you to take this all in so quickly…and I appreciate that you're doing your best to remember…Honestly…" He laughed a little, sounding slightly off. "…The best thing you can do right now is get better. We're all here for you, after all."

Fate felt her heart tug with an emotion she had not felt before, but on the outside, she smiled gratefully. After all, there were some things that one should keep to oneself. And the sudden poison in her heart was one of them. She closed her eyes with a bitter smile.

_"…I had always hated you…"_

Something was burning inside her.

The elevator stopped, and after a while, pinged as its doors opened. Yuuno led the way past the corridors, Fate and Nanoha following behind at a steady pace. He finally stopped at a door and stepped through it. As she moved to follow, Fate was suddenly glomped by a…little girl with a tail?

"Fate-chan!" The girl shouted, and almost seemed to lick her cheek.

She flinched as the girl pressed against one of her bandages. Her head suddenly began to throb. Somehow, her heart squeezed. She suddenly felt as though an invisible thread were connecting her to this person before her. A powerful bond.

"I'm sorry…" She nearly gasped, "…I don't remember you…"

But her heart did. Her heart soared.

The girl drew back and smiled, not a glint of sadness in her face.

"You do…in your heart." She said, and Fate knew her smile, and her confidence, was heartfelt. "I'm Arf."

"Arf…" She repeated.

Even the name felt familiar.

And she couldn't help but smile.

A sudden tug at her hand made her look into slate blue eyes, which implored her forward. She received a little nudge to go along with it. She did so, and came face to face with a young man in his early twenties, standing beside a woman, neither old nor young, with a face that said a thousand words. On the other side of the young man there stood a young woman with two small children hiding behind her legs.

She tilted her head to the side, a sudden wave of nostalgia washing over her, and a compelling urge to cry overwhelming her senses.

But instead, she stood stock still, unsure of how to feel. Unsure of how to act. Unsure of everything she had learned up to now.

_"You were Project F's greatest creation…but you never compared to the original."_

She blinked rapidly, the already familiar dizziness overtaking her senses. But she struggled. Because this time, she did not want to black out. She did not want to run away from the voices in her head. She did not want to escape the feelings, the emotions that tugged at her heart strings with fervor so intense they were almost surreal.

_"…I only wanted to make mother smile…__But she never smiles the__ way she used to before…"_

An emotion beating against her chest; a pressure in her heart she did not have the words for. Struggling to break free.

_"…my name, Fate-chan."_

_"…Your name?"_

"I think you may not remember us…but I'm…your adoptive brother, Chrono Harlaown and this is…"

_A nod._

_"You can say my name, because we're friends."_

_"…I…"_

"…my mother, our mother, Lindy Harlaown…"

_"Nanoha."_

_A __hesitant__ pause._

_"…__Na__…no…ha…"_

"…My wife, Amy, and my children…"

_Another nod.__This time full of emotion._

_"Nanoha…"_

_There were tears, falling as another nod took place._

_"…Your hand sure is warm…Nanoha…"_

Her face contorted with pain, her eyes dry even though she was crying on the inside.

"…I'm sorry."

Jagged.

Pained.

So terribly pained.

"…I don't…"

"We thought so." Chrono said, and he smiled, even though there was a glint of sadness in his eyes.

Lindy moved closer, and there was a pain in her eyes that made Fate's heart ache long after the meeting was over.

"Are you feeling better, Fate?" She asked, a hand caressing her cheeks.

"Yeah…" Her voice was choked.

She smiled, but it came out somehow wrong. Crooked.

"It's nice to see you…" She said.

And even though she meant it, it felt somehow off saying that. As if those were the words of another person.

"We've missed you a lot too…" Amy said, offering Fate a smile. "It still amazes me how much you've grown since you were little…"

She smiled back, that same crooked smile.

"Could you excuse me for a moment?" She asked, "I'm not feeling very well. I'll be right back."

The others nodded, and she spun on her heel as quickly as she could, stepping through the door. Behind her, she heard Yuuno call to Nanoha, and heard the other girl audibly answer. But she could not make out the words beyond her own head, and so she walked faster, trying to hold on to the only thread of consciousness she had left. The thread she grasped desperately to keep from collapsing; to keep from retching violently.

And that was when another presence invaded her line of feeling. Another warm…safe…presence. Another that made her happy.

"Fate-mama!"

Heterochromatic eyes of green and a light shade of burgundy bore into her own. The little girl possessed herself of one of her legs and began crying, and Fate couldn't help the sad tug at her heart. She could not help the way she leant down, and she hugged the little girl to her chest, eyes dry but wanting with everything in her heart to cry.

"Vivio…"

Nanoha's voice. Understanding. Caring. As always, with the ability to render her heart full of warmth. With the ability to chase away all of her fears.

"Vivio…" Fate repeated, and she gently kissed the little girl's forehead, because it felt as though it were another instinct she had forgotten long ago.

And she nodded to Nanoha as the girl kneeled in front of her and passed her fingers through the little girl's hair. And it was that look that Nanoha gave the little girl that made Fate's heart jump to her throat; it was that look that made her realize how beautiful the other girl was, with her eyes of perfect blue and her smile to render speechlessness. And she did not understand those emotions.

She only knew that eventually, they would change her life forever.

She felt it…with everything she had.

_**A/N: **So...I finally managed to update this. And not get caught. Heh. Anyway, hope you liked it. And...I tried not to make it too dissapointing since I made you wait so long for an update. Anyway, do I even need to say this? Okay, okay, fine, I will, even if it goes without saying. My readers are the best! You guys rock! Seriously, you make my life so much brighter. Thank you so much for reviewing and making my day!_

_:nudges reader towards review button:_

_Cheers!_

_PS: I will update Melody as soon as I can! And before that, you can look forward to the end of the small fic series. A happy ending for Nanoha and Fate. Okay?_


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